Small Blessings Blog

Let the nourishment flow... Our first wave of postnatal sevadars is here

Jai Ram Kaur Hergo - Tuesday, September 03, 2019

If I were into conspiracy theories I could probably find one to fit this situation. In this western culture we are so effectively hypnotised into thinking we are alone that obvious, simple and doable ways to get together and nourish each other almost don’t occur to us. 


And also new mothers sit there alone with their babies, unnourished and unsupported, at a time when actually, in a healthy society, you would think that all resources would be pooled to flow towards her in this crucial time. 

Well, we woke up.


Last Saturday was the first edition of the 40 Day Blessing Postnatal Sevadar training here in Perth. It was just 6 hours, with a lot of richness to jam in, but we did it. And had a beautiful special for the postnatal time ayurvedic 3 course meal prepared by the women as well. 


                 


One woman told me that the next day she felt healed, calm and quiet through hearing of the teachings, learning how to serve women in this 40 day fourth trimester window. She felt the sadness and loss of her own postnatal time which was lacking in this nourishment. And in the food that we prepared and ate together was some kind of medicine that she felt healed this pain. So there is some powerful magic afoot when that happens.


Sevadar means one who serves selflessly. Frances Parkhowell of Perth Postnatal Village and Chair of Australian Doulas and I gave 11 women a training that covered the Kundalini Yoga teachings on this time – physical, emotional, spiritual; the scientific, hormonal and physiological correlates to these understandings; what a sevadar does; how to create clear documents with a check list of things you offer, from cooking, cleaning the house, taking care of older children to massage and nourishing conversation; how to create an agreement document to facilitate a clear relationship with the one receiving service; massage; belly binding; ayurvedic food as medicine .. and more. 


                      


We have emerged with a group of women who feel nourished possibly in places they didn’t realise were malnourished, and who are ready to wisely and tenderly serve their nieces and daughters when they have their babies. But also who are ready to serve other women in Perth who need it. 

It’s just a beginning, but a beautiful and encouraging one. 


If you are in Perth reading this and will be in your own 40 day blessing soon and this strikes a chord, get in touch with me. Perhaps there is a woman in your area who is available to offer you some help. And if you would like to be involved or come to the next training, also let me know so I can keep you posted. 


It is such a small distance really to reach across to take another woman’s hand. Such a small act, and yet the ripples of healing and happiness from that act may, eventually, be enough to change the world, one woman, one baby, one family at a time. 

Motherhood - it hurts

Jai Ram Kaur Hergo - Monday, December 18, 2017


Motherhood is a place in which apparently opposite things live. You love your child so much you would die for them. And, as pointed out by one of the wise women at Mama Baba Yoga today, at other times you are so at the end of your wits you would like to kill them. It’s shocking, right?
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Motherhood is the definition of bittersweet. The sweetness you see in your child is always passing. To be replaced by the next stage of life. You can’t hold on to anything.
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It hurts. It breaks your heart open. .
It’s not true that you should love every moment. Beware of shoulds. It’s in the tension between opposites - the bitter and the sweet - the wonderful and the so so testing, trying moments - that the greatest challenge and therefore growth occurs. So don’t even try to get rid of the tension by pretending to yourself or others. Wisdom comes through recognising that all the rich contradictory nature of the experience can only be held in one place: in the heart.
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Tears crack you open. You are rendered defenseless. Again and again. By love. And all it makes you do.
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This crazy, challenging, awesome, wonderful, heartbreaking, heart-opening life of motherhood.

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