Small Blessings Blog

Let go and let nature

Jai Ram Kaur Hergo - Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Birth brings us right up to the threshold of what we believe to be possible. Science has been trying to contain and regulate the birth process for some 300 years, but in fact it is an encounter with what lies beyond science. The very fact that our bodies are able to stretch and open to the degree that they do in birth is pretty close to a living miracle, if you ask me!

In many ways, women are infinite. A whole new being emerges from our own, and our bodies are capable of turning blood into milk. If not miraculous, this is at least an expression of a deep and refined non-rational intelligence.

Birth, in my view and in my experience, also echoed in the accounts of countless other women, is a very direct meeting with some very mighty powers. It would be pretty foolish really to not have some kind of awe or deep respect for these powers. Contractions, or rushes, or surges, come from a place that is beyond rational understanding or control, and our response to the power of this force can sometimes be shock or fear that this force might destroy us. Certainly it seems bigger than us. The instinctive fear response is then fight or flight. Fight might express as trying to resist and the birth not moving along and flight might express as looking for escape in numbing the pain.

There is another way though. Actually, this force is compassionate beyond our normal conception of compassion. It wants to get the baby out! The moments when we are confronted by the immensity of our own nature also test our faith in ourselves and in life, and our trust in ourselves, the people around us and our environment. To know, it IS good and okay, and I can let go into it, both on the personal level of feeling safe where you are, and on the more impersonal level of faith that the experience means well with you and everything is all right.

If you can breathe and find this trust and faith, you will step over a threshold into empowerment. The forces moving through you can become waves that you can ride. "Losing control" (an illusory control we never had anyway!) is a step into gaining a far deeper mastery of these forces. And that brings a great confidence and dignity that will stay with you forever more. What is more important to you then: maintaining the image for yourself and others of being in control and risking having this hinder the natural progression of the birth, or letting your baby be born in exactly the way that is right for her and for you in that moment?

Yes, it takes courage to trust and have faith! And this is a courage that every woman possesses. In the birth hormone cocktail our bodies provide, there is vasopressin, which makes us fearless and determined. So our own nature knows what we need and has thought of everything, if we will just trust and let go into it.

At this point I really truly love it, because there´s no book or DVD or pregnancy yoga class or teacher who can deliver you the definitive way for you to deliver your child. It is YOU who will know when the time comes, because it is YOUR baby and YOUR body knows exactly what to do. You needn´t actually add anything, rather it is a case of removing the obstacles to letting go and letting nature. You will then let go of trying to think your way through it, let go and let that deep instinct take over.

When we women do that more and more, honouring our own and our children´s innate natural intelligence in the way we birth, the face of the world will begin to change again, and we and our children will be empowered by that no end. 


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