Small Blessings Blog

Birth: Reaping the rewards

Jai Ram Kaur Hergo - Sunday, May 24, 2020

In online postnatal yoga last Thursday we opened the space at the beginning of class for anyone who wanted to share about their birth experience.
What a profound event it is! No matter how it happens. To consciously celebrate it allows us to integrate and keep drawing from its lessons. Sometimes just to hear yourself say something and have it heard by others is in itself an important step in the growth process. Making things conscious and clear that were previously a little vague. 
Sometimes there is something difficult from the birth to digest and integrate. Feeling feelings, expressing reactions and responses is necessary for moving on, for learning, for forgiving.. if there is ever really anything to forgive. Writing your birth story can also be hugely valuable - for the precious record you will have years later, when you've forgotten details, and for the therapeutic value of it. I share stories on my website because they are all awesome. Here is a page that has some suggestions on how you might go about writing your story, if you feel you want some inspiration. 

Last Thursday was no different from any other sharing on birth that I have been a part of, by which I mean it was touching, humbling, a privilege. And why not revisit that magic and open the door to let the fragrance and wonder of this incredible time in to the present moment?

What struck me from the sharing of the women this time was a common theme. There was the sense that the birth left a lasting imprint of empowerment on the women who spoke. Birth was clearly felt and experienced to be an experience that permanently changed the women's perception of themselves in such a way that set them up for being mothers. Is that not nature's plan? Does it not equip us, every step of the way? 

Very clear also was that birth is empowering and strengthening to the sense of self trust regardless of how it went. One woman took it a step further and commented that, although this, her third birth, was less smooth and more challenging than the previous two, with more interventions and troubles, she felt proud and strong. She processed what was upsetting to her after the birth by letting herself feel the pain and letting herself cry.. and then it passed. She realised, actually all is ok. No need to even try to avoid the hard experiences. It's ok. That too, I can contain. That too makes me grow. How ultimately strengthening. How much wisdom is in that? 

Always bowing down to this extraordinary life. 
Are you in the first 40 days following birth? You are invited to all Small Blessings Yoga classes online, for free, as a gift of support to you in this time. 

Cycles of Life - everything in its own time

Jai Ram Kaur Hergo - Sunday, May 24, 2020

Kundalini Yoga teachings tell us that all humans have in fact not 1, but 10 bodies, only one of which is physical. These teachings say that the soul (1st body) comes into the womb at 120 days, in its capsule of the subtle body (9th body) and the other 8 come from the mother. For the first 3 years of life the baby shares 8 of his or her 10 spiritual bodies with the mother. Consider the implications of that kind of connection and also level of giving!
At 3 the child has their own 10 bodies and is fully separate. It takes a full 3 years for this to happen! And at this time a significant shift in the relationship can be experienced.

Life is understood backwards but is lived forwards.
First time mothers can be forgiven for thinking “Will I be in this cave forever?! Have “i” as I know myself disappeared for good? Is this it now?” 

How could you know that a new phase is coming.. and a new one .. and a new one?
So let me reassure you women in those first 6 intense and intensely self-sacrificing months: it will change, and quite soon.
At around 6 months a reorientation happens.
The first phase of firmly establishing a security and a deep bond and a sense of foundation, messy as it can get, imperfect as it may seem, is as important as it is inevitable.
You’re doing such important work there. 

And meanwhile you yourself are experiencing unprecedented growth in your humanity.
You may feel like you live in a cave or a pressure cooker. That’s necessary. It will pass.
At 6 months your eyes open wider along with your baby’s. The world opens up again with new possibilities. The father role becomes more activated as the baby has the inner security to be ready to open up into the world more.
And at 3 years this intense nurturing, nourishing, foundation-laying time will be finished. And a new cycle will begin.

So take a deep breath.
Feel accomplished. Honour yourself deeply and do and think what sustains and enriches you on the journey.
You are nursing a soul into the world as much as a body and a mind.

“In your caliber there is a consciousness. In that consciousness there is a caring being. In that caring being there is God. That's all I am saying. Look to your vastness. Look to your bigness. Look to your totality. Don't look to the little things.”
Yogi Bhajan

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